What's the key

Hi Again:

I've been thinking about this question. What's the one key element to finding a job? Is it a great resume? Knowing someone? Networking? Persistence? Doggedness? A nice suit? The ability to lie through your teeth? Thinking fast on your feet? An amazing smile with dazzling white teeth?

Well most of those are useful or important (although I'd never lie, it's a bottomless trap). But none of them feel like the real key. What advice did I get that I stuck to that made my job hunts successful? What worked for me and what have I seen work for others?

After pondering long and hard I hit on the answer. Or at least the answer for me. It's being realistic and giving yourself a break. Every day get up in the morning and lay out what success for that day will be. It will be different on different days. Some days it might be "I'll apply for 10 jobs on line." Other days it might be "I'll sign up for unemployment today." or "I will find one job I want to apply for today.".

Note that those possibilities really move across a range. Guess what. Not having a job is tough. It's depressing. It's supposed to be depressing. It's hard. Find a job is hard work. It's a darn sight harder than actually having a job. Some days will be pretty good, and some days will absolutely suck. Some days you'll do all you can to get out of bed. Some days you may not even make it out of bed. That's what being unemployed and not having a job and looking for a job is like. That's the bad news.

The good news is that it's not impossible. It's damn tough, but it's not impossible. Others have done it. Frankly if I've done it, I bet you can too.

My point is to be realistic. "Today I'm going to find a job." is not a particularly realistic goal for the day. Define success that way and I don't think you are going to feel successful very often. Give yourself a break. Define success as something realistic and something within your control.

Once you've reached success for the day, allow yourself to celebrate a little bit. I don't mean blow all your money on the town. Pick a small reward. What works for you? Have a cookie. Watch a movie. Spend 45 minutes playing that on line game you like. Just reward yourself a little bit and don't feel guilty about it. But if you do, that's OK too.

You're not going to be Mr. or Ms. happy cheerful person all the time when you are out of work and looking for a job. That's OK. Cut yourself some slack. Anyone who tells you that you have to be cheerful positive and look at everything through rosy glasses all the time is not being realistic. And they are probably trying to sell you their "system" for finding a job.

So set your goals a little more modestly. Define success as something you can actually achieve. This should not be used as an excuse to do nothing and pretend you did something. You know yourself. Set a goal that's right for you today. Not too easy and not too hard. String together a few successful days and you might feel up to a slightly more challenging goal soon. Next thing you know you'll string together a bunch of success, start feeling good about yourself, and really get moving.

You'll have bad days. That's OK. Just keep plugging.

I know you're looking for a job, but you already have a job. Your job is to find a job. It's volunteer work, but it's worth it. It's for you. It's for any family that you may have. If you felt a little down one day, you wouldn't call in sick would you? No, you'd probably suck it up and go to work. Well, this is your work. Keep plugging at it and you'll eventually get what you are working for. You may not know it, but you're employed. Think of it that way and it will be easier to do.

ZippyTheWonderbat